Every 30 seconds, a comedian bombs somewhere.
Just be thankful you didn't get the heroin table.
It would be great if you could give kids valium.
Heroin addicts applaud by slapping their veins.
We don't have seasons anymore because we lost the ozone layer.
Smoke pot -- get paid.
Last night's audience was kind of scary.
Men don't like to be waited on because they're afraid they'll do something gay.
Jake's never been to his favorite bar.
Knowing Spanish is integral to the bullfighting experience.
Joe skipped town on a train traveling at 100 mph.