You shouldn't put a fat kid up on a balance beam -- that's
wrong. They never took the blind kids to the shooting range.
Posted: 10/30/2008
I didn't even know I had scoliosis. My gym teacher caught it in
the eighth grade. He started rubbing my back under my shirt. Yeah, I thought he...
Posted: 10/30/2008
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way
stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper...
Posted: 12/01/2008
We had a lot of assemblies when I was growing up at my school,
and they were all the same. Every assembly we had they would always bring in some...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I love doing comedy, you guys. I knew comedy was for me when I
was the only Asian in high school that failed math. But you know, when I failed,...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I always loved art teachers because they were so bizarre. They
were like the homeless people of the faculty -- all disheveled, wearing smocks,...
Posted: 10/30/2008
You knew who the rich kids were, right? Right up at the front
of the line, packet A: 15 10x12's, 32 5x7's, six friggin' posters. I was way back at...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I remember one time I brought my report card home, I go, 'Hey
Pop, I got a B in Reading!' He goes, 'That's a D, you idiot!'
Posted: 10/30/2008
This guy told me a nun used to hit him with a ruler. I said,
'Our nun tried to hit us with a car.'
Posted: 10/30/2008
I got hit with a ruler first day of kindergarten -- for smoking
pot. Because if you bring it, you need to bring enough for everybody.
Posted: 11/03/2008