Warren Thomas: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more

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Jo KoyThank you Hermosa Beach Comesy Magic club for 3 sold out shows this weekend!3:21 AM Today

Kyle CeaseTo everyone asking, yes, I am serious about Disneyland. If we can raise that kind of money to fight cancer w new followers, Disnleyland.3:03 AM Today

Kyle CeaseMan, u should see me clap in person RT@ Lindseyperish @kylecease Kyle! I'm watching u on not another teen movie & I fucking love life.3:02 AM Today

Kyle Ceasemotivating u to help me fight cancer with new followers. 1st person who can get me 150 new followers, I will fly out n take to disneyland.2:59 AM Today

Iliza Shlesinger@realdavetegnier those are all stupid guesses. The correct answer comes from Bladeofgrass7- apples?cat? - it's both2:54 AM Today

Anjelah Johnsonhttp://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2902856&id=8286083032:42 AM Today

Iliza Shlesingerhttp://twitpic.com/qlwbp - What is in this pie?1:32 AM Today

jim gaffiganDear Geico, I get it. We could save money switching to Geico. Here's one for you. You could save money not advertising. I don't own a car1:25 AM Today

Craig ShoemakerGreat day. Took family + friends 2 magic castle, bbq'd, wizard of oz, eagles win, tucked kids in w bedtime stories. Doesn't get much better1:16 AM Today

Mike Birbigliai heard sarah palin's ghostwriter also wrote new moon. #newmoon #goingrogue12:45 AM Today

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Warren Thomas - Prison

Mike Tyson's like a buff Rain Man.

Tags: Warren Thomas (6), ethnic (814), imitations (772)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 601

Warren Thomas - America

Arkansas is the inbred capital of the universe.

Tags: Warren Thomas (6), money (866), ethnic (814)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 497

Warren Thomas - El Nino

If you're running late for work, blame it on El Nino.

Tags: Warren Thomas (6), sex (1284), Premium Blend (750)

Posted: 05/29/98
Views: 257

Warren Thomas - Village People

It takes the Village People to raise a child.

Tags: Warren Thomas (6), kids (841), Premium Blend (750)

Posted: 05/29/98
Views: 205

Warren Thomas - David Duke Day

Warren will take anybody's day off to party.

Tags: Warren Thomas (6), sex (1284), men/women (1005)

Posted: 05/04/94
Views: 142

Warren Thomas - Celebrity Trouble

Rich people used to have better lives.

Tags: Warren Thomas (6), sex (1284), men/women (1005)

Posted: 05/04/94
Views: 139

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Warren Thomas: Blame El Nino

They blame everything on El Nino. When I can't get it up, I go, 'Baby, it's El Nino. It ain't me, baby. I'm a man -- it's El Nino, see? -- it's a...

Tags: sex (2379), news & politics (616), Warren Thomas (6)

Posted: 05/29/1998

Warren Thomas: Appreciating Hillary Clinton

She said something really brilliant -- she said it takes the Village People to raise a child. You know, that's deep, ain't that? 'Cause I'm...

Tags: pop culture (770), news & politics (616), Warren Thomas (6)

Posted: 05/29/1998

Warren Thomas: Outlawed Clones

When clones are outlawed, only outlaws will have clones.

Tags: technology (345), laws (214), Warren Thomas (6)

Posted: 05/29/1998

Warren Thomas: Any Holiday to Party

I'll take anybody's day off to party. I'm serious -- I'll take David Duke Day off.

Tags: ethnic (427), work/office (325), history (111)

Posted: 05/04/1994

Warren Thomas: On Mike Tyson

Of course he had a bad attitude -- 25 years old, $60 million. When I got my student loan, I was a d**khead for three weeks.

Tags: sports (623), money (431), college (137)

Posted: 05/04/1994

Warren Thomas: When Life Starts

These pro-lifers say, 'Life starts in the male scrotum after two Budweisers.' If that's the case, then I killed more people in my room last night...

Tags: sex (2379), men/women (1718), news & politics (616)

Posted: 02/24/1992

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Warren Thomas: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

Warren Thomas

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