If baseball were any slower, it'd be farming.
Everybody's getting healthy nowadays.
Roger needs a ski mask to pay his taxes.
Living to be 105 only looks good on paper.
The Rolling Stones should wear shirts.
I had a chance to go bungee cord jumping last week. They make it look cool on TV, don't they? You always see people doing those sports in Mountain...
I'm really trying to like baseball, but I finally figured out why I can't watch it: I have a pulse.
I like a sport where someone's getting injured. Of course, I watch presidential speeches just in case there's a sniper.
I don't eat right. I had cheese sticks for dinner tonight. It'd be healthier to take a bullet. At least a bullet would go through you.
I've got a friend who smokes five packs a day. He has to wear nicotine slacks. He says he's afraid to quit because he might get heavy. If he...
Then they've got the products for the elderly. Have you seen the recliner that has a cushion that pushes you to your feet? If you can't get out of...
So I go to flea markets to save money... I love to go. I was at a great one last week. Actually, it was a trailer park. People just let me browse...