Rocky Laporte: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Rocky Laporte

Rocky LaPorte has been performing on the road as a top-notch, in-demand and enormously popular comedy club headliner, accumulating a trunk full of TV appearances from "Cheers", "Carolines Comedy Hour" and his very own "The Rocky LaPorte Show" a pilot for CBS.

Rocky's family came to this country from Brooklyn, when his father was deported for drag racing midgets. The family then moved to Chicago so Rocky could play for the Chicago Cubs during their championship reign in the early 70's. While playing for the Cubs, Rocky pitched twelve no-hitters and maintained a batting average of 700. During baseball's off season, Rocky served in Vietnam and was highly decorated with Agent Orange. After returning from the war, the Cubs traded Rocky to the New York Knicks for six hot dogs and a VCR. There he played center for nine and a half years shattering, many records and tapes.

Changing from a career in sports to the opera, Rocky moved to Cleveland. While in Cleveland, Rocky sang opera and that is where he and other opera stars got interested in mountain climbing. He is most proud of conquering some of Ohio's tallest peaks. Bored with opera, he got into Karoke where he won the nationals and got to meet Billy Ray Cyrus. Upon moving to Nashville, Rocky wrote many famous country songs and is still a legend in Tennessee to this day. Rocky then moved to the west coast, where he alone was totally responsible for reuniting The Eagles. He now tours the country as a... [MORE]
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Rocky LaPorte - Side Effects

Hard of Hearing

Tags:

Posted: 06/10/05
Views: 53,123

Rocky LaPorte - Oh Canada

Left of the Dial

Tags:

Posted: 06/10/05
Views: 44,290

Rocky LaPorte - Fancy Mall

Why do the makeup counter girls at the fancy mall wear lab coats?

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (978)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 3,672

Rocky LaPorte - The South

Rocky doesn't understand Southern sayings.

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), culture (165)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 2,829

Rocky LaPorte - Doctor

Rocky LaPorte had a tough week.

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (978)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 2,337

Rocky LaPorte - English Teachers

English teachers are evil people.

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), violence (304)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 2,241

Rocky LaPorte - Birthday

Rocky LaPorte turned 38 three or four years ago.

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), growing up (453)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 1,951

Rocky LaPorte - Staten Island Zoo

Whose job is it to make sure nobody eats in the bathroom of the Staten Island Zoo?

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (793)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 1,855

Rocky LaPorte - Very Rustic

People are nuts.

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (793)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 1,786

Rocky LaPorte - Canada

Rocky is confused by Canadian thermostats.

Tags: Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (793)

Posted: 06/09/05
Views: 1,734

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Rocky LaPorte: Visiting the Staten Island Zoo

They got a sign in the bathroom that said, 'No smoking or eating.' Who the hell's going to eat in the bathroom of the zoo? You know, be like, 'Hey,...

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Renaming "When Animals Attack"

You ever see that show, 'When Animals Attack'? They should call it, 'When Stupid People Get Bit.'

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Hiking Trip

We stayed in a rustic cabin. I found out 'rustic' means 'old piece of sh*t.'

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Cosmetic Counter Girls

You ever go into those fancy malls? You ever see those girls working behind the cosmetic counters? They've got lab coats on. What are they doing,...

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Keeps Me Young

My friends say, 'Rocky, you don't seem that old.' I say, 'That's because I read at a third grade level -- keeps me young.'

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Report Card

I remember one time I brought my report card home, I go, 'Hey Pop, I got a B in Reading!' He goes, 'That's a D, you idiot!'

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Nuns' Discipline Style

This guy told me a nun used to hit him with a ruler. I said, 'Our nun tried to hit us with a car.'

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Florida's Wildlife

They've got those freakin' bugs down there, the big ones that fly away with your kids. You ever see those things -- palmetto? I was going to step...

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Hotel Heat

We were in the hotel room, and it's kind of cold. 'Well,' I go, 'I'll put the heat on a little bit.' I put it on 70. It was freakin' Celsius! Yeah,...

Posted: 06/09/2005

Rocky LaPorte: Understanding the Message

Up north, when people tell you stuff, you know what it means, am I right? I remember when I was a kid, this guy goes, 'Eh, get off my lawn, or I'll...

Posted: 06/09/2005

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