Robert Kelly: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Robert Kelly

Boston native Robert Kelly is a constant and popular presence in comedy clubs across the country. Fresh from performing and taping "Tourgasm" with Dane Cook, Robert is back in the clubs and colleges doing what he does best -- making you laugh. Taking the stage, Robert exudes a non-stop energy that grabs the audience from beginning to end. His cutting edge humor and strong dynamic presence puts him in the forefront of comedians in demand. His routine consists of mischievous and playful situations that we can all relate to in our youth, through college and relationships. Robert Kelly is an expert in making you laugh at the strange things we do! His other television credits include "Premium Blend," "Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn," NBC's "The Carson Daly Show," VH1's "Awesomely Oversexed" and MTV. With over a dozen independent movies under his belt, Robert is a favorite at clubs and colleges nationwide. Robert's most recent appearances include an episode of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." He also guest starred on ABC's sitcom, "The Job" with Denis Leary and appeared as a detective playing opposite Vincent D'Onofrio on NBC's, "Law & Order: Criminal Intent." www.RobertKellyLive.com
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Robert Kelly - Applebee's

I love restaurants that cater to fat people.

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Posted: 04/04/08
Views: 127,711

Robert Kelly - Breasts

Let's get the obvious out of the way: I'm fat.

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Posted: 04/04/08
Views: 89,401

Robert Kelly - Video Games

Robert Kelly still plays video games in his socks and underwear.

Tags: Robert Kelly (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (987)

Posted: 04/03/08
Views: 21,710

Robert Kelly - Interview - Sexy

I used to be sexy.

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Posted: 04/04/08
Views: 19,247

Robert Kelly - Applebee's

Robert's favorite dessert is Satan Ass Fudge Chunk.

Tags: Robert Kelly (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)

Posted: 04/03/08
Views: 12,810

Robert Kelly - Famous Friends

Bobby calls his famous friends.

Tags: Robert Kelly (12), friends (307),

Posted: 04/02/08
Views: 12,083

Robert Kelly - Good Sex

I was so good at sex I was sexy after sex.

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Posted: 04/04/08
Views: 8,550

Robert Kelly - Touring

Touring isn't glamorous anymore.

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Posted: 04/04/08
Views: 7,285

Robert Kelly - Hell Gig

I did improv after the Spin Doctors

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Posted: 04/04/08
Views: 6,437

Robert Kelly - Real Love

Farting is hilarious.

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Posted: 04/04/08
Views: 5,274

Robert Kelly: Officially Fat

I'm officially fat, too. I have tits. And the way I found out was so uncomfortable: I was having dinner with a buddy of mine -- I actually caught...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: Snakeskin Jacket

I'm an XL. I have to go in, I have to try a shirt on, go have lunch, and then try it on again. I'm not kidding. I bought a snakeskin leather...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: Love the Applebee's

I love those restaurants because they cater to fat people. They know fat people are showing up. You walk in; they're like, 'Hey, we took chicken...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: Applebee's Desserts

I love the dessert menu there, too, because it's so ridiculous. They actually take a color photo of the dessert, which is unnecessary. It's a photo...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: Naked With Socks

I sleep fully naked with socks. I think it's sexy as hell. I don't know why she's complaining. I'm talking tube socks from 1978 -- they come up to...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: Potty Poem

She actually got a poem to help remind me to wipe the seat when I'm done. It says, 'If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: 36-Year-Old Video Gamer

I'm 36; I play video games. Do you know how disappointed my girl is? Three o'clock in the afternoon, I'm in my underwear and socks with a headset...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: Video Games With Your Girl

Do you ever play a video game with your girl? I don't like playing because she just wants to have fun. 'Let's just have fun.' 'No, it's a ninja...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: Therapist's Advice

I go to therapy now, too. He's such an ass. He really is. I told him I had problems keeping it up during sex, and his advice was to look my girl...

Posted: 04/03/2008

Robert Kelly: After Sex

After sex now is so disgusting. As soon as we're done, my girlfriend dismounts me like she's getting off a dirty bicycle, and then she just leaves...

Posted: 04/03/2008