I'm officially fat, too. I have tits. And the way I found out
was so uncomfortable: I was having dinner with a buddy of mine -- I actually caught...
Posted: 04/03/2008
I'm an XL. I have to go in, I have to try a shirt on, go have
lunch, and then try it on again. I'm not kidding. I bought a snakeskin leather...
Posted: 04/03/2008
I love those restaurants because they cater to fat people. They
know fat people are showing up. You walk in; they're like, 'Hey, we took chicken...
Posted: 04/03/2008
I love the dessert menu there, too, because it's so ridiculous.
They actually take a color photo of the dessert, which is unnecessary. It's a photo...
Posted: 04/03/2008
I sleep fully naked with socks. I think it's sexy as hell. I
don't know why she's complaining. I'm talking tube socks from 1978 -- they come up to...
Posted: 04/03/2008
She actually got a poem to help remind me to wipe the seat when
I'm done. It says, 'If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the...
Posted: 04/03/2008
I'm 36; I play video games. Do you know how disappointed my
girl is? Three o'clock in the afternoon, I'm in my underwear and socks with a headset...
Posted: 04/03/2008
Do you ever play a video game with your girl? I don't like
playing because she just wants to have fun. 'Let's just have fun.' 'No, it's a ninja...
Posted: 04/03/2008
I go to therapy now, too. He's such an ass. He really is. I
told him I had problems keeping it up during sex, and his advice was to look my girl...
Posted: 04/03/2008
After sex now is so disgusting. As soon as we're done, my
girlfriend dismounts me like she's getting off a dirty bicycle, and then she just leaves...
Posted: 04/03/2008