Robert Hawkins: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Robert Hawkins

Robert Hawkins is an ex-army medic (U.S.) who grew up fast on the sandy beaches of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "I joined the army because I was 18 and bored with tenth grade". After an honorable discharge from civilian jobs, he took the advice of his friends and tried stand-up comedy for the first time at the Improv in Dallas, Texas. Within four years Hawkins appeared on A&E's "Comedy on the Road" with John Byner and was headlining comedy night clubs across the country as well as colleges and corporate parties.

Hawkins moved west to San Francisco and broke into the Bay Area comedy scene with a strong showing in the 1993 San Francisco International Stand-Up Comedy Competition placing ninth out of hundreds. Hawkins recalls, "it was bogus man, I should have been eighth" The next year he went on to win the Fifth Annual Stand-Up Comedy Competition at California State University.

1996 was Robert's break out year with a critically acclaimed appearance on Showtime's "Full Frontal Comedy". In July of 1996 he was invited to perform at the prestigious Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. His performance resulted in a sitcom development deal with Fox television. Robert made his network debut in October 1998 on NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien".

A recent magazine article covering Hawkins' stand-up wrote "comics like Robert Hawkins take the art form (stand-up comedy) to new highs and he is worth checking out if he comes to your town."
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Robert Hawkins - Quitting Smoking

Quitting smoking, smacking kittens.

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Posted: 07/04/03
Views: 3,989

Robert Hawkins - Travelling

Going around America.

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Posted: 07/04/03
Views: 3,376

Robert Hawkins - Singing Along

Use your own voice if you're going to sing along to the radio.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), music (710), friends (307)

Posted: 11/17/04
Views: 594

Robert Hawkins - Sing Along

The older you get, the more you hate people.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), imitations (770)

Posted: 07/03/03
Views: 562

Robert Hawkins - Quitting Smoking

Quitting smoking doesn't mean quitting other addictions.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (956)

Posted: 07/03/03
Views: 559

Robert Hawkins - In the Army

Apparently, an education is required to join the Air Force.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 07/03/03
Views: 430

Robert Hawkins - All About the Fun

Robert wants people to judge him by his jokes, not his face.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), health (956), Premium Blend (750)

Posted: 01/11/01
Views: 336

Robert Hawkins - Not Fair

Men always get stuck with condom detail.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 07/03/03
Views: 295

Robert Hawkins - Cheap Vacation

Salespeople in beach stores have excellent sales skills.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (852)

Posted: 07/03/03
Views: 283

Robert Hawkins - Write Home

Nowadays, kids can get Crunch Berries cereal without the crunch.

Tags: Robert Hawkins (10), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 07/03/03
Views: 263

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Robert Hawkins: Quitting Smoking

How did I quit? With willpower and nicotine gum. I recommend the gum if you wanna quit, it helps. The taste? I would rather eat a tobacco plant out...

Posted: 07/03/2003

Robert Hawkins: The Problem With Kids Today

I went to the store; I'm on the cereal aisle where they have the cereal, and I see a box of Cap'n Crunch. It's just the crunch berries; there's no...

Posted: 07/03/2003

Robert Hawkins: Learned a Lot in the Army

I learned a lot in the army. I learned how to masturbate quiet.

Posted: 07/03/2003

Robert Hawkins: Off the Beach in Hawaii

Eventually, I went to Hawaii. You ever been there before? It's beautiful. The travel agent told us, 'Stay off the beach a ways and save some cash.'...

Posted: 07/03/2003

Robert Hawkins: Baton Rouge

Baton Rouge has -- hands-down -- the hottest, sweetest, youngest women with four kids anywhere in the country.

Posted: 07/03/2003

Robert Hawkins: On Being a Redhead

I went to the barber shop. The guy goes, 'How ya doin' there, Red?' I said, 'Not bad, Psoriasis. You sure you wanna play this game?'

Posted: 07/03/2003

Robert Hawkins: Singing Along to the Radio

You mean you're not the guy from Creed's third cousin, second removed, if he had Down Syndrome, lived in a burlap sack and was beaten with an oar...

Posted: 07/03/2003

Robert Hawkins: Hotel Pools

You know, if you just act natural, you can swim in any hotel pool, anywhere, for a half hour. The world is yours. You gotta be cool. If someone...

Posted: 01/11/2001

Robert Hawkins: Singing in the Car

If you want to sing in my car, go ahead, sing. Sing the whole trip, I don't mind. But do me a favor: don't try to sound like the artist on the...

Posted: 11/17/2004

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