The scariest dinner food possible is Hamburger Helper.
It is hard to tell if a rodent is Irish in the dark.
How do you like that word pairing: 'suicide doctor'? That's like 'pyromaniac fireman.' Suicide doctor -- what's malpractice for this guy? You live?
Here's the worst moment on the phone -- somebody calls you with a wrong number; then they call you back again to verify their stupidity. They...
We sit down to eat, and a large black bug with a big red blotch starts crawling up my leg. My wife says, 'Kill him.' And I say, 'Are you talking to...