Retta: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more

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Doug BensonAnd I split because I know a card shark when I smell one! RT @JasonCalacanis Oh snap,sat down to play poker and @dougbenson is at my table!3:02 AM Today

robert kellyRT @debjo325: Here ya go Robert Kelly!Check this video out -- Lil Jon and Eastside Boyz ft Ice Cube - Roll Call http://bit.ly/1NMP2O TY11:07 PM Jul 3rd

Doug Bensonis going to take a bubble(s) bath and watch Michael Jackson videos on Vh1. Sushi later. (Yeah, this is how I do it.)10:44 PM Jul 3rd

Dan CumminsTanqueray + Ice + Weezer + pool + good company = great afternoon. This equation is perfect. I double checked it. I carried the one. Fun.10:29 PM Jul 3rd

robert kellyOne of my favorite songs to work out too is Roll call from Lil Jon-East side boys. but I found out, not a good song t... http://znl.me/EJ3SX10:25 PM Jul 3rd

Doug Bensonhe didn't give me a nickname, because I never made eye contact. But in retrospect, I'm surprised he didn't call me "ball watcher."9:14 PM Jul 3rd

Doug BensonGet to the Wynn pool bar, asap. There's a drunk giving everyone nicknames. For free!9:09 PM Jul 3rd

Doug BensonName & place dropper. RT @kevinpollak GREAT lunch w/Bobby Flay. WAY cool story about his cooking w/ Prez Obama @ White House on Father's Day8:17 PM Jul 3rd

Doug BensonThanks for spelling #ilovemovies correctly (unlike me). RT @MeredthSalenger @DougBenson stalk away! I'm flattered! LOL ;) #ilovemovies8:14 PM Jul 3rd

S_ManiscalcoPerforming at the Comedy Store on Sunset Blvd tonight at 10:15.5:56 PM Jul 3rd

Retta - Advice for White Men

White boys, stop raising the roof.

Tags: Retta (12), Premium Blend (749), ethnic (690)

Posted: 12/13/02
Views: 1,522

Retta - Classical Music

Don't judge music by who's listening to it.

Tags: Retta (12), Premium Blend (749), stereotypes (380)

Posted: 02/21/00
Views: 1,351

Retta - Can't Have Kids

Retta can't have kids because she'd kill them.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), kids (595)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,243

Retta - Lions in Heat

Lionesses aren't satisfied by a lion who can only do it 215 times in three days.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), sex (904)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,065

Retta - McDonald's Attitude

Fast and friendly service at participating McDonald's only.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), New York City (286)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 959

Retta - Tiny Hotel Soap

There are several places a hotel's tiny bar of soap can get lost.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), travel (234)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 863

Retta - Credit Card Denied

There's nothing worse than losing the battle for the check and then getting your credit card denied.

Tags: Retta (12), Premium Blend (749), money (445)

Posted: 12/13/02
Views: 786

Retta - Dating a Skinny Latino Man

Retta and her boyfriend can't play chicken at a pool party.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), men/women (839)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 773

Retta - Annoying Friend

Retta's annoying friend calls her at nine a.m. to stress about white out and toner.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), food (493)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 603

Retta - Club Jimmy Hat

Maybe some girls would go to this club to get their itch on?

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), imitations (766)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 518

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Retta: Customer Service in NYC

So I'm like, 'Hold up, slick. I thought McDonald's was supposed to have fast and friendly service.' She's like, 'That's at participating...

Tags: food (364), work/office (335), city (221)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: Next for the Bathroom

Ladies, have you ever been in the bathroom in a public place or at a party, and there is someone else who wishes to come in next, but instead of...

Tags: men/women (1861), potty humor (196), Retta (12)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: Male Lions vs. Human Males

Two hundred sixteen times in three days -- yet some of you self-proclaimed 'macs' like to brag about doing it twice in an hour before slipping into...

Tags: sex (2673), animals (1047), Retta (12)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: When Friends Complain About Work

She's like, 'I'm the only one who does work around here. If it weren't for me, nothing would get done.' And I'm thinking to myself, 'Yeah, I'm so...

Tags: insults (1674), work/office (335), friends (177)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: Men's Armpits

So, fellas, please if you're not gonna shave it, aerosol spray it because we don't want to see all that feta cheese.

Tags: men/women (1861), gross-out (778), lookin' good (413)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: Love Classical Music

I love classical music. Don't get me wrong -- I'm still black -- I still kick up the bass and pump up the volume.

Tags: pop culture (813), ethnic (409), music (103)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: Two Words That Shouldn't Describe the Same Product

Think about it: nondairy creamer, two words that should not be used to describe the same product. Kind of like turkey bacon -- what the hell is...

Tags: food (364), Retta (12)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: Nondairy Creamer

My mother would always get powdered milk. I hated it, but when we ran out, my brother and I would substitute nondairy creamer. What the hell is...

Tags: food (364), growing up (256), Retta (12)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: The Body's Heating System

My father refused to turn up the heat because the body had its own heating mechanism: shivering. He'd say, 'I see your teeth are chattering. You...

Tags: money (391), parenting (326), growing up (256)

Posted: 10/30/2008

Retta: Gives Me a Rush

You know what gives me a rush? Methamphetamines.

Tags: drugs (171), Retta (12)

Posted: 10/30/2008

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Retta

More Videos and Jokes

Tags: Retta (12), Premium Blend (749), ethnic (690)

Posted: 12/13/02 Views: 1,522

Tags: Retta (12), Premium Blend (749), stereotypes (380)

Posted: 02/21/00 Views: 1,351

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), kids (595)

Posted: 02/12/04 Views: 1,243

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), sex (904)

Posted: 02/12/04 Views: 1,065

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), New York City (286)

Posted: 02/12/04 Views: 959

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), travel (234)

Posted: 02/12/04 Views: 863

Tags: Retta (12), Premium Blend (749), money (445)

Posted: 12/13/02 Views: 786

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), men/women (839)

Posted: 02/12/04 Views: 773

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), food (493)

Posted: 02/12/04 Views: 603

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1779), imitations (766)

Posted: 02/12/04 Views: 518

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 10/30/2008

Posted: 12/13/02
Views: 1,522

Posted: 02/21/00
Views: 1,351

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,243

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,065

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 959

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 863

Posted: 12/13/02
Views: 786

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 773

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 603

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 518