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Retta

Retta has appeared on the following Comedy Central shows:

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Retta Videos Retta Jokes
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Retta - Advice for White Men

White boys, stop raising the roof.

Tags: Retta (12), ethnic (813), Premium Blend (750)

Posted: 12/13/02
Views: 2,183

Retta - Classical Music

Don't judge music by who's listening to it.

Tags: Retta (12), Premium Blend (750), music (710)

Posted: 02/21/00
Views: 2,036

Retta - Lions in Heat

Lionesses aren't satisfied by a lion who can only do it 215 times in three days.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,761

Retta - Can't Have Kids

Retta can't have kids because she'd kill them.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (828)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,670

Retta - McDonald's Attitude

Fast and friendly service at participating McDonald's only.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), New York City (593)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,328

Retta - Credit Card Denied

There's nothing worse than losing the battle for the check and then getting your credit card denied.

Tags: Retta (12), money (852), Premium Blend (750)

Posted: 12/13/02
Views: 1,198

Retta - Tiny Hotel Soap

There are several places a hotel's tiny bar of soap can get lost.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), travel (306)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,178

Retta - Dating a Skinny Latino Man

Retta and her boyfriend can't play chicken at a pool party.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (987)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 1,169

Retta - Annoying Friend

Retta's annoying friend calls her at nine a.m. to stress about white out and toner.

Tags: Retta (12), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)

Posted: 02/12/04
Views: 830

Retta - Growing Up Poor

When there wasn't powdered milk, you used nondairy creamer.

Tags: Retta (12), money (852), food (790)

Posted: 02/21/00
Views: 716

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Retta: Two Words That Shouldn't Describe the Same Product

Think about it: nondairy creamer, two words that should not be used to describe the same product. Kind of like turkey bacon -- what the hell is...

Posted: 02/21/2000

Retta: Nondairy Creamer

My mother would always get powdered milk. I hated it, but when we ran out, my brother and I would substitute nondairy creamer. What the hell is...

Posted: 02/21/2000

Retta: The Body's Heating System

My father refused to turn up the heat because the body had its own heating mechanism: shivering. He'd say, 'I see your teeth are chattering. You...

Posted: 02/21/2000

Retta: Love Classical Music

I love classical music. Don't get me wrong -- I'm still black -- I still kick up the bass and pump up the volume.

Posted: 02/21/2000

Retta: Gives Me a Rush

You know what gives me a rush? Methamphetamines.

Posted: 12/13/2002

Retta: Already Been Pre-Approved

I love when I get a piece of mail, and above my name, it says, 'You've already been approved.' I am telling you, pre-approval -- is that not such...

Posted: 12/13/2002

Retta: A Black Woman's PSA

As a black woman, I feel like it is my duty to impart some information on you, a veritable PSA, if you will. As a colored girl -- yeah, I said --...

Posted: 12/13/2002

Retta: Customer Service in NYC

So I'm like, 'Hold up, slick. I thought McDonald's was supposed to have fast and friendly service.' She's like, 'That's at participating...

Posted: 02/12/2004

Retta: Male Lions vs. Human Males

Two hundred sixteen times in three days -- yet some of you self-proclaimed 'macs' like to brag about doing it twice in an hour before slipping into...

Posted: 02/12/2004

Retta: When Friends Complain About Work

She's like, 'I'm the only one who does work around here. If it weren't for me, nothing would get done.' And I'm thinking to myself, 'Yeah, I'm so...

Posted: 02/12/2004

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