Drugs are a lie. I don't know if you ever heard of GHB? They
call it the date rape drug. I drank that crap all the time; I never get laid. It don't...
Posted: 11/22/2002
I taught P.E., and it was hot. I had to be outside, like, all
day long, and I like to go out and drink at night. I had to stand outside in the sun,...
Posted: 11/22/2002
I was in a pizza place today. I saw Scott Baio -- that dude
could cook.
Posted: 11/22/2002
It's pretty cool being married, but you change. I used to love
to hunt and shoot stuff and kill stuff, and then I got married, and now I'm more in...
Posted: 11/22/2002
I was gonna do that mail order bride thing. You don't know,
because if you ain't home and your neighbor signs for her, she's out there mowing his...
Posted: 11/22/2002
I thought I was gonna be famous. I did a show like this, and
these producers came to watch my show. I got done; they were like, 'Come here for a...
Posted: 03/03/2005
I got one cousin, he's blind in one eye 'cause he tried to kill
himself with a slingshot. I don't even know how you go about that, you know? He...
Posted: 03/03/2005
I got a hangover. I'm stupid. I went out last night, and I
started out the night shooting tequila, then for some dumb reason, I switched over to...
Posted: 03/03/2005
I got sick of us losing all the time. So, I changed the name of
our team to 'Off Constantly.' That way, at least every time we lost, at the end of...
Posted: 03/03/2005
This is something that happened to me, and a lot of people
think I'm crazy and I'm making it up or whatever, but six months ago, I was abducted by...
Posted: 03/03/2005