I saw a sign today on the side of a bus that I thought was a
little insensitive. It said, 'Help cure muscular dystrophy by joining our...
Posted: 06/02/2002
You ever date a big girl? You go broke getting her drunk. It's
like filling up a Winnebago with super unleaded.
Posted: 06/02/2002
Even my people, the Italians, are politically correct now,
which they never were. Now they're complaining they don't like the way they're portrayed...
Posted: 06/02/2002
A picture of 50 women with black eyes, crying -- a big sign
that says, 'Every 12 seconds, another woman is beaten by her boyfriend or husband.'...
Posted: 06/02/2002
Every commercial goes after the father. It's like, 'America
Online is so easy, even Dad can use it.' You mean the guy who bought you the f**king...
Posted: 06/02/2002
You know what you get for donating your eggs, ladies? Five
thousand bucks. Guys, you know what we get for our sperm? Fifty bucks. I got a towel at...
Posted: 06/02/2002
The FBI says they're having trouble penetrating these terrorist
cells -- bullsh*t. Move to my neighborhood, I've been buying fruit from the Taliban...
Posted: 06/02/2002
I helped an old lady with her luggage on the flight. Don't do
that -- you become her bitch for the rest of the flight.
Posted: 06/02/2002
We're still selfish on the plane. I'm on the plane in San
Francisco last week, the pilot comes on, he goes, 'We have a problem with engine number...
Posted: 06/02/2002
I was at a bar flirting with this hot chick, but I didn't go
home with her because I felt a dump coming on. I was c**k-blocked by a calzone I ate...
Posted: 06/02/2002