Never trust a talking anti-drug dog.

Tags: Myq Kaplan (2), drugs (639), gay/homosexual (633)

Posted: 06/20/08
Views: 11,368

Being a pallbearer's supposed to be an honor, but it's actually just heavy lifting.

Tags: Tommy Johnagin (10), family (667), Live at Gotham (332)

Posted: 08/10/06
Views: 1,889

I think this is the end, lol!

Tags: Baron Vaughn (11), Live at Gotham (332), death (318)

Posted: 06/13/08
Views: 81,654

Buying condoms at Costco is a proud moment.

Tags: Chris Porter (7), sex (1283), Live at Gotham (332)

Posted: 08/24/06
Views: 6,041

I don't believe in the 10-second rule.

Tags: Baron Vaughn (11), Live at Gotham (332), Oprah Winfrey (76)

It's not that we Americans are lazy -- we just like to sit.

Tags: Karen Rontowski (3), America (446), Live at Gotham (332)

Posted: 08/10/06
Views: 1,200

Penguins are really dumb.

Tags: Joe Rogan (5), animals (791), dating (656)

Posted: 08/24/06
Views: 2,174

If you live to be 90, you get a very special birthday present.

Tags: Patton Oswalt (33), Live at Gotham (332), death (318)

Posted: 08/03/06
Views: 9,578

Germans are definitely the creepiest people in the world.

Tags: men/women (1003), food (804)

Posted: 10/23/09
Views: 328

Terrorists always travel with too many dudes.

Tags: terrorism (439), Live at Gotham (332)

Posted: 11/06/09
Views: 27