If you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit.
Filed under: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)
Views: 43,632
Posted: 01/04/1999
Mitch Hedberg - Radio Show
Mitch, Lewis and Dave discuss the 2004 election in Austin, TX.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Indecision (1362), Dave Attell (61)
Posted: 09/08/08
Views: 65,580
Mitch Hedberg - Green Room Buffet
Mitch goes food hunting at the buffet.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), school (254), smoking (126)
Posted: 09/08/08
Views: 24,298
Mitch Hedberg - Tripping on Acid
Because of acid, Mitch Hedberg now knows that butter is way better than margarine.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (783)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 20,175
Mitch Hedberg - Knocking on Walls
When Mitch Hedberg's neighbor knocks on the wall, he tells him to go around.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), drugs (630)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 16,586
Mitch Hedberg - Turtlenecks
Wearing a turtleneck is like getting strangled by a really weak guy all day.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 15,322
Mitch Hedberg - Alcoholism
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease you can get yelled at for having.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sports (618)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 14,460
Mitch Hedberg - Baked Potatoes
Mitch Hedberg likes to eat.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 10,924
Mitch Hedberg - Flossing
It's as hard to quit smoking as it is to start flossing.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (956)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 11,108
Mitch Hedberg - Turtlenecks
Wearing a turtleneck is like getting strangled by a really weak guy all day.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 15,320
Mitch Hedberg - Party of Two
People are selfish.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), food (790), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (149)
Posted: 05/18/04
Views: 13,401
Mitch Hedberg - Instant Oatmeal
Making instant oatmeal feels unproductive.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), food (790), Premium Blend (750)
Posted: 05/22/98
Views: 11,405
Mitch Hedberg - Tripping on Acid
Because of acid, Mitch Hedberg now knows that butter is way better than margarine.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (783)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 20,175
Mitch Hedberg - Inspirational Yogurt
Mitch Hedberg is inspired by his yogurt.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), food (790), Premium Blend (750)
Posted: 05/22/98
Views: 12,284
Mitch Hedberg - Knocking on Walls
When Mitch Hedberg's neighbor knocks on the wall, he tells him to go around.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), drugs (630)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 16,581
Mitch Hedberg - Alcoholism
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only disease you can get yelled at for having.
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sports (618)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 14,457
Mitch Hedberg - Being a Comedian in Hollywood
Asking a good comedian to write a script is like asking a good chef, "Can you farm?"
Tags: Mitch Hedberg (19), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (956)
Posted: 01/04/99
Views: 6,661
