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Megan Mooney

The year was 1974. The city was Houston, Texas. The baby was Megan Anne Mooney. The two crying people were her parents. In a small town in Texas the miracle was born. She was quickly shuttled home to her older brother and sister (Jimmy and Erin), where she enjoyed the benefits of being the baby of the family for less than a year. Soon after her birth, she got devastating news. Her family was moving to Cleveland, Ohio and her mom was pregnant again. She didn't understand a word of English, but she cried dios mios for weeks (her parents attributed this to her milk allergies). In Cleveland, Ohio Megan welcomed her four new brothers and sisters (Kevin, Kerry, Britta, and John) with a smile, while her parents cursed the church. Then she embarked on her sixteen-year trek through catholic schools.

Megan learned crowd pleasing skills early. On the day her fourth grade teacher was collecting spelling workbooks to be graded for the semester. Megan threw up on a whole pile of them giving everyone automatic As. Megan learned to deal with disappointment at an early age. In high school, she led the campaign to have Davie Jones singe at her Senior Prom. Davie never showed up. And more tragically, only a few days later Megan's brothers were throwing a football in the backyard when it accidentally hit her in the face, breaking her nose, and making her realize that now she'll never be a teen model. Since her modeling days were over, Megan drowned herself in a four year drinking... [MORE]

The year was 1974. The city was Houston, Texas. The baby was Megan Anne Mooney. The two crying people were her parents. In a small town in Texas the miracle was born. She was quickly shuttled home to her older brother and sister (Jimmy and Erin), where she enjoyed the benefits of being the baby of the family for less than a year. Soon after her birth, she got devastating news. Her family was moving to Cleveland, Ohio and her mom was pregnant again. She didn't understand a word of English, but she cried dios mios for weeks (her parents attributed this to her milk allergies). In Cleveland, Ohio Megan welcomed her four new brothers and sisters (Kevin, Kerry, Britta, and John) with a smile, while her parents cursed the church. Then she embarked on her sixteen-year trek through catholic schools.

Megan learned crowd pleasing skills early. On the day her fourth grade teacher was collecting spelling workbooks to be graded for the semester. Megan threw up on a whole pile of them giving everyone automatic As. Megan learned to deal with disappointment at an early age. In high school, she led the campaign to have Davie Jones singe at her Senior Prom. Davie never showed up. And more tragically, only a few days later Megan's brothers were throwing a football in the backyard when it accidentally hit her in the face, breaking her nose, and making her realize that now she'll never be a teen model. Since her modeling days were over, Megan drowned herself in a four year drinking binge called college. After graduation cum laude from John Carroll University, Megan moved to Austin, Texas and began her rise in comedy at the local comedy club.

Megan's relaxed and approachable comedy style gains her instant approval with audiences. The Indianapolis Star describes her as a "sarcastic, smart-ass extraordinaire with a myriad of truly original topics." Megan has performed in the prestigious HBO Comedy Arts Festival and the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. She has appeared on Comedy Central's Premium Blend and in December will be taping her own Comedy Central Presents for the network. Megan now resides in Los Angeles with her husband. When she is not performing on the road, she often wishes she could have been a teen model crying, "Dios Mio."

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Megan Mooney Videos Megan Mooney Jokes

Megan Mooney - Drinking Race

Megan practices ordering alcohol.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), animals (400)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 3,219

Megan Mooney - Irish = Mexican

Megan might as well be Mexican.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), sex (904)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 1,785

Megan Mooney - Back Fat

Megan is forced to wear back fat-revealing dresses.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), marriage (413)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 1,346

Megan Mooney - Drinking for Two

Megan pretends to be pregnant while drinking at a bar.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Premium Blend (749), kids (595)

Posted: 01/22/04
Views: 1,208

Megan Mooney - Don't Play With the Stove

Parents sometimes give strange advice when they leave the house.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Premium Blend (749), ethnic (690)

Posted: 01/22/04
Views: 1,152

Megan Mooney - Elderly Advice

The older you are, the worse your advice.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), kids (595)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 1,007

Megan Mooney - Bad Gift

Megan's friends don't know her.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), sex (904)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 971

Megan Mooney - Mother's Voice

Megan will never pretend to be her mother again.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), imitations (766)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 941

Megan Mooney - Dad's Friends

Megan has a retort for her dad's friend.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), sex (904)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 929

Megan Mooney - Animal Abuse

Megan suspects her niece of animal abuse.

Tags: Megan Mooney (13), Comedy Central Presents (1779), family (550)

Posted: 03/16/06
Views: 877

Megan Mooney: When Friends Shouldn't Marry

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn't feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: The Irish and the Mexicans

My parents are Catholic, which means that they love Jesus and liquor. I don't think there's anything more Mexican than that.

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: Animal Abuser Niece

I have a niece that's an animal abuser. You ever see kids who love animals, but they beat the tar out of them? Right, she's like, 'I love the dog!'...

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: "Price Is Right" Fans

If you like 'The Price Is Right,' you're either 90 or a pothead.

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: My Father's Rude Friend

I'm just hanging out, minding my own business. He yells from across the room something he thinks is funny. He's like, 'What's the matter, Megan?...

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: Bridesmaid Dresses

Why would your friends make you wear an ugly dress? Because it's their wedding, not yours. My friends weren't even nice. They're like, 'Could the...

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: Involuntary Gift Reaction

You ever get a gift from somebody and, as you open up that gift, you involuntarily shout out, 'Do you even know me?!'

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: Strategy for Sounding Sober

When you need to remove yourself from your group of friends to come up with a strategy for sounding sober enough to be served more alcohol, the fun...

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: Olympic Diving

I always have this dream that the guy coming in last for diving is going to do a cannonball for our amusement.

Posted: 10/30/2008

Megan Mooney: Can't Go From Zero to Marathon

You can't go from my level of activity into a marathon. Maybe a good start for me is not taking the car to get the mail.

Posted: 10/30/2008