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Illegal immigrants are the most patriotic people in America.
American men are too politically correct when they talk to skinny women.
Nobody takes their job as seriously as nightclub bouncers.
Why aren't there more Cubans on the U.S. swim team?
You can spot a half-Mexican by the over usage of the word "poquito."
D.L. Hughley doesn't like flying.
Terrorism is relative.
America smells like urine, whereas Canada smells pine fresh.
Our relations with Cuba suck right now.
Why does America have to be the greatest country in the world?
President George W. Bush should be vague in his press conferences.