Pulls me over, he goes, 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' I
go, 'Because I was speeding?' He goes, 'Nope, because you're black. Don't you read...
Posted: 01/03/2000
I remember my first sexual experience: back seat of my dad's
car. I was young; I was in love; I was alone. No, not quite -- Dad was driving. He was...
Posted: 01/03/2000
Ladies, if a guy ever tells you he wants to cover you from head
to toe in honey and lick it off inch by inch, that's a man who's never done it before.
Posted: 01/03/2000
Last week I was in Mobile, Alabama -- very glad to be here.
There are mutants in Mobile. They got social mutants. They got rednecks wanting to be...
Posted: 07/29/2001
I like to go to fast food restaurants and order stuff they
don't have. Got to try that. Go to Burger King or something -- 'Hey, Burger King! Have...
Posted: 07/29/2001
If you're a guy and you've never seen a newborn child, let me
tell you now, it's the miracle of life. Nothing more precious, nothing more delicate,...
Posted: 07/29/2001
I'll vote for the first person that just admits to anything.
First person they walk up to and go, 'Excuse me, did you sleep with that woman?'...
Posted: 07/29/2001
Our closest enemy is Castro. Anybody scared of Castro? Nah.
It's like pissing off the slow kid in school.
Posted: 07/29/2001
They don't apologize for anything. You got a lot of guns around
here? 'Yeah!' OK, that's not the response I was looking for. I hear you execute a...
Posted: 07/29/2001
They got the best car thieves in the world in Detroit. Yeah, I
didn't think they could take mine 'cause the windows were rolled up, the doors were...
Posted: 07/29/2001