I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked
smart. I'm like, huh? I ain't smart; I can't see! I didn't go to Harvard; I went to...
Posted: 01/25/2007
You can't be gangster with astigmatism. And I love grimy music,
but I can't be a thug. What am I gonna do -- rob bookstores?
Posted: 01/25/2007
I know tap water. I grew up drinking it, I did. My mother
wouldn't buy anything else. But she tried to make tap water sound delicious. She called...
Posted: 01/25/2007
I love my mother, man, 'cause she wanted to keep me and my
brothers off the streets. We grew up in a drug-infested neighborhood -- the United States.
Posted: 01/25/2007
My mother... would save her money and take us skiing on the
weekend, which was brave. She took a black family skiing. This was the 80s -- brothers...
Posted: 01/25/2007
America's getting more and more culturally diverse every day,
man. It's beautiful, man. We're trying to get along. We're good people. That's why I...
Posted: 01/25/2007
White kids' parents used to make some good cookies. My mother,
she made sweet potato pie. She bought cookies, and they were never the good cookies....
Posted: 01/25/2007
I like immigrants 'cause they really appreciate America. They
get here; they happy. They look up at the buildings like, 'Wow! It's beautiful.' And...
Posted: 01/25/2007
People get fired for robots. I hope that doesn't happen with
comedy. You'll come to a comedy show, there'll be a robot on stage. 'For family jokes,...
Posted: 01/25/2007
I knew some people who lost their jobs after 30 years of work.
They went in their cubicle, and they had a note that said, 'Get yo' ass out.' And...
Posted: 01/25/2007