So they ask me, 'Would you like to answer your secret security
password question?' I think, 'Oh yeah, surely I can answer a question posed by...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I went to Tower Records the other night to try to buy a new
needle for my record player. I might as well have said, 'Excuse me, do you good men...
Posted: 10/30/2008
Then they've got the products for the elderly. Have you seen
the recliner that has a cushion that pushes you to your feet? If you can't get out of...
Posted: 11/02/2008
This friend of mine told me to get Quicken for my computer.
He's like, 'Todd, you gotta get Quicken. Look man, I make graphs of my finances.' Wow....
Posted: 10/30/2008
I trick them during the day. I hide in a dark closet and make
all my calls.
Posted: 10/30/2008
I think anytime you use a roaming charge, a little icon should
pop up with a guy getting f**ked in the ass. That way you know you're roaming.
Posted: 10/30/2008
I get 200 anytime minutes and 3,000
we're-gonna-pluck-you-like-a-pigeon-and-laugh-at-you minutes. It's great. I can call anyone on Mondays between...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I went and bought one of these laser jet printers a while back:
$99 bucks for a brand new laser jet printer. What a steal, I thought -- $99 bucks...
Posted: 10/30/2008
If you're calling about payment of your bill, press 2.' Well,
technically, I'm calling about non-payment of my bill.
Posted: 10/30/2008
Want to know how broke I am? My cell phone fell on the subway
tracks last week; I looked at my friend, and I said, 'Hold my legs -- I'm going down.'
Posted: 10/30/2008