Kurt Metzger: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more

ccinsider.comedycentral.com atom.com thedailyshow.com colbertnation.com

Search alphabetically:

Besides regularly performing in many a NYC comedy club, Kurt Metzger's credits include performing on Comedy Central's Live at Gotham, Showtime's White Boys in the Hood and as a regular on VH1's Best Week Ever. Kurt will be filming a half hour special for Comedy Central in August and will be appearing on Comedy Central's new show Important Things with Demetri Martin. In 2007, he was the stand out comedian at the Montreal Comedy Festival's New Faces showcase. He has also been writing for Chappelle's Show on Comedy Central and several other Spike TV, VH1 and Comedy Central Programs.

Looking for something else?

Christian FinneganMore nervewracking than telling jokes on camera? Watching someone else tell your jokes on camera. A dizzying mix of pride and horror.9:46 PM Today

Michael ShowalterBig difference between telling someone to "Go forth!" and telling someone to "Go fourth!" They might misunderstand and go first.9:42 PM Today

Michael Showalterchicken flavor nooders!!!!!!9:37 PM Today

Doug BensonOh my God, this sushi I'm eating tastes like raw fish.9:18 PM Today

Paul F. TompkinsFACEBOOK GROUPERS! Hopefully, this just got a lot simpler: http://bit.ly/61FLrl Add it to your page! #tompkins3009:14 PM Today

Matt BraungerHey, remember when all I tweeted about was my album? Well, that same album is now available at Vacation Vinyl in Los Feliz. #soweak9:00 PM Today

Doug BensonBoth shows at Hyena's in Dallas are sold out, Im told. So smoke some bowls and watch me on Comedy Central from 9:30 to 11:00 central time.8:40 PM Today

robert kellyIn the dressing room watching the movie Black Devil Doll. who ever made this movie needs help and a pat on the back. Show time in 1 hour.8:11 PM Today

Matt BraungerB.I.N.G.O. RT @duncantrussell A bead store is what happens when a trust fund and a nervous breakdown get married and have a baby.6:50 PM Today

Mike BirbigliaRT @airplanesarah "You should get to writing that book. Chapter 4: Mermaid Boobs." Chapter 4 AND 5. Oh snap!6:41 PM Today

See All

Kurt Metzger - Ethiopian Food

Kurt Metzger has a theory about Ethiopian food.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), ethnic (814)

Posted: 01/09/09
Views: 134,928

Kurt Metzger - An Eighth Cherokee

White genes force Cherokee genes onto reservations.

Kurt Metzger - Food

Shouldn't Mexico's national food be popsicles?

Kurt Metzger - Pot Commercials

Why can't grandma just bring dinner to the basement?

Kurt Metzger - The 101 Craziest Objects

People put a lot of strange things up their asses.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (14), health (976), kids (841)

Posted: 05/17/07
Views: 19,215

Kurt Metzger Perfect 10

Honest to God, I thought an 8 was a good score.

Kurt Metzger - Weird But True

Does your gynecologist have a tear-drop tattoo?

Posted: 05/18/07
Views: 10,596

Kurt Metzger - Settling Down

It's called "settling down" for a reason.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (14), men/women (1003), dating (656)

Posted: 05/17/07
Views: 8,169

Kurt Metzger - Religious Tolerance

Kurt defines what religious tolerance really means.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003)

Posted: 10/22/08
Views: 4,815

Kurt Metzger - Hilarious Crimes

It's hard to find a reliable motel gynecologist.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (14), health (976), media (651)

Posted: 05/17/07
Views: 3,116

See All

Kurt Metzger: Between the Eyebrows and the Nose

I need glasses really bad, and it turns out I can't wear them, medically, because my eyebrows are too g**damn big. I'm not wearing glasses. And I...

Tags: lookin' good (489), Kurt Metzger (4)

Posted: 05/17/2007

Kurt Metzger: Liposuction

I saw liposuction. You ever see how they do that? It's, like, violent. They get the hose -- it looks like they're mad at how fat you are.

Tags: health (734), gross-out (686), Kurt Metzger (4)

Posted: 05/17/2007

Kurt Metzger: A Perfect "8"

She's like, 'Oh, I'm not a 10? What does that mean? Did you settle? Did you have to settle for me?' Which is awkward because that's what I thought...

Tags: men/women (1718), dating (476), Kurt Metzger (4)

Posted: 05/17/2007

Kurt Metzger: The Only Animals in All of Nature

You know, human beings are the only animal in all of nature that sometimes shoves other animals up their ass.

Tags: animals (947), gross-out (686), Kurt Metzger (4)

Posted: 05/17/2007

See All

Kurt Metzger: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

Kurt Metzger

More Videos and Jokes