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If your parents don't know they're having twins, you can actually crash your own birth.
Kjell crashed his own birth.
Ashlee Simpson is not a superstar.
Nine-year-olds are fun, pure and innocent -- but damn they're annoying.
Chain restaurants are a butt-fluff of suggestive selling and happy-happy birthday songs.
What's the point of non-alcoholic beer?
Don't drink when no one else around is your age.
Marianne Sierk is flattered when her co-worker calls her a pretty, thin bimbo with no common sense.
Temp work is empowering.
You won't get laid during surgery.
Amanda Melson doesn't think she has to explain the word she invented.
When Joey Gay masturbates, it's like there's a murder going on.
You don't want to drink yourself into a strange, new sexual lifestyle.