This girl had the nerve to tell me a few months back, 'Look, if
you play your cards right, you may get lucky.' 'How do you mean, I may get lucky?...
Posted: 12/08/2002
My son's mom, she wanted me to name my son after who she
fantasized about having a son with. 'Well, I think we should name him Denzel.' You better...
Posted: 12/08/2002
She was just jealous as hell. I couldn't do nothing. She used
to weigh my balls before I left the house. 'Baby, I'm going to the store.' 'Put 'em...
Posted: 12/08/2002
You know how embarrassing it is to walk with a girl on a first
date and see somebody with the same shirt as you on -- and they homeless?
Posted: 06/02/2005
George looks like -- he's like the crazy uncle that you got
when you had problems in the neighborhood. 'George, I just got jumped down 16th...
Posted: 06/02/2005
Back in the neighborhood, nobody gave a damn about your
feelings. Whatever your affliction, that's what you were called. You had a big head, they...
Posted: 06/02/2005
How many of you know who Jeane Dixon is? You know who she is?
You know she predicted everybody's death? John F. Kennedy, Robert F. Kennedy -- don't...
Posted: 05/26/1993
In America, we won't let somebody who's terminally ill have the
right to take their own life. We say it's illegal. But yet, we'll let Evel Knievel...
Posted: 05/26/1993
Pedophiles don't want to be called pedophiles. They want to be
called priests.
Posted: 10/30/2008
I hate that show 'COPS.' You ever see that show? The thing
about it is you can turn it on one day and see somebody who you know being arrested....
Posted: 05/26/1993