The grossest people on the planet ride the Greyhound bus.
Filed under: Kathleen Madigan (16), animals (791), parents (525)
Views: 671
Posted: 02/24/1992
Kathleen Madigan - Safe Travels
If a plane crashes, sitting in the aisle seat will probably not save you.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (865)
Posted: 07/04/00
Views: 3,880
Kathleen Madigan - Voting
Kathleen's not qualified to vote.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (149), voting (116)
Posted: 12/15/04
Views: 2,656
Kathleen Madigan - Insult to Injury
Figure skating teams must get really mad at each other all the time.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841)
Posted: 07/04/00
Views: 2,538
Kathleen Madigan - Foreign Policy
The English word for "Cinco de Mayo" is Tuesday.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)
Posted: 07/04/00
Views: 2,326
Kathleen Madigan - Bad Crack Whore
Kathleen Madigan would make a bad crack whore.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), sex (1283), drugs (639)
Posted: 11/03/04
Views: 2,116
Kathleen Madigan - The Unexplainable
Alien abductions and going fishing are very similar.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), George W. Bush (2037), Comedy Central Presents (1821)
Posted: 07/04/00
Views: 1,965
Kathleen Madigan - Passing the Time
Lots of free time makes you think that "Unsolved Mysteries" has a chance of working.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), TV (543)
Posted: 07/04/00
Views: 1,836
Kathleen Madigan - Downsides to Sports
Why are marathons controlled by shoes?
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), Comedy Central Presents (1821), imitations (772)
Posted: 07/04/00
Views: 1,697
Rodney Johnson - Omaha
If you're the only brother in town, you will adopt a new walk.
Tags: Rodney Johnson (3), ethnic (814), stereotypes (431)
Posted: 10/25/93
Views: 644
Steve Trilling - Serious Driving Accident
Steve was in a big collision with a drunk guy.
Tags: Steve Trilling (4), alcohol (496), The A-List (491)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,535
Marc Price - Drinking Age
You don't need to be legal to buy the stuff that's illegal.
Tags: Marc Price (4), drugs (639), parents (525)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 216
Brett Butler - Short Mom
A five-foot tall mom isn't very intimidating.
Tags: Brett Butler (9), sex (1283), kids (841)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 741
Gary Lazer - Missing New York
If you're going to live in New York, you may consider buying a guard dog or parrot.
Tags: Gary Lazer (4), animals (791), New York City (602)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 197
Kathleen Madigan - Catholic Reception
Catholic midnight masses can get pretty rowdy.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), sex (1283), animals (791)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,213
Lisa Gopman - Big Hug, Broken Ribs
Be careful that the person you're hugging doesn't have three bruised ribs.
Tags: Lisa Gopman (1), food (804), imitations (772)
Posted: 12/11/03
Views: 325
Larry Miller - Levels Three and Four
At level three of drinking: you love the world.
Tags: Larry Miller (4), men/women (1003), money (865)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 896
Kathleen Madigan - Kids
Living with kids is like living with homeless people.
Tags: Kathleen Madigan (16), money (865), kids (841)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 722
Billiam Coronel - Uncle Frank
Billiam got stuck with a pack of losers.
Tags: Billiam Coronel (4), family (667), alcohol (496)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 604
