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It's not that we Americans are lazy -- we just like to sit.
Iran has the worst fortune cookies.
Karen Rontowski wants to please her date.
New York City has five too many religious cable channels.
Ryan thinks that America has a sick sense of humor.
Hotels make you feel really bad about ordering porn.
Kobe beef is massaged.
Bills don't care about race, religion or what happened in your past.
Just attend a stranger's funeral in a trench coat, approach the casket and declare, 'Check mate!'
Racial tolerance only lasts so long with white friends. Before you know it, they're karate-chopping you.
Dan writes greeting cards.
Being a pallbearer's supposed to be an honor, but it's actually just heavy lifting.