The other night I went out on a date with a guy who said he
didn't like girls who were fragile or vulnerable. So I stabbed him.
Posted: 08/10/2006
For his birthday, my sister gets him a pinata... I'm not
allowed over anymore because I kept going, 'Hey Evan, I bet there's some candy in that...
Posted: 08/10/2006
[My sister] goes, 'You know what your problem is, Karen? You
think like a man.' So I said, 'I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.' And then I made her...
Posted: 08/10/2006
I got a rental car, and they gave me a Daewoo. Daewoo: that's
Korean for 'Just walk.'
Posted: 08/10/2006
I didn't know what they were. I turned it on, some woman's
reading off sins -- I thought they were things to do in town.
Posted: 08/10/2006
This guy came on the screen, and he goes, 'The divorced
Christian woman has to be very careful because men know she's been married and she's...
Posted: 08/10/2006
I'm getting a new car. You know what kind of car I'm getting?
I'm getting a Honda Civic because those are very safe cars. And I know 'cause I saw a...
Posted: 08/10/2006