John Mendoza: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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John Mendoza

comedian John Mendoza has appeared on the following Comedy Central shows:

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John Mendoza Videos John Mendoza Jokes
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John Mendoza - Stupid People

If you want to meet stupid people, lock your keys in your car.

Tags: John Mendoza (3), family (667), dating (656)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,078

John Mendoza - Denny's

You can get a free meal at Denny's on your birthday.

Tags: John Mendoza (3), food (804), family (667)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 833

John Mendoza - Kids Suck

John hates kids.

Tags: John Mendoza (3), kids (841), New York City (602)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 828

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John Mendoza: New York Crime

I was in New York over the weekend. The crime there is incredible. I was getting on the plane, I looked into the cockpit, and around the steering...

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: Ugly People Don't Know They're Ugly

I don't think ugly people know they're ugly. I was at a party with a friend the other night. He says to me, 'Look at that chick over there. She's a...

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: Kids Suck

Kids suck. I hate kids. They're like old people with energy.

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: In Denny's on Your Birthday

Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.' If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks.

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: Bored in the Bank

I was in the bank the other day. I was on line for about 45 minutes. I got bored. So, the guy standing in front of me -- I just punched him in the...

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: Hitchcock's "The Birds"

My all-time favorite movie was the Alfred Hitchcock movie, 'The Birds.' I saw it with my older brother. We get home that night -- I went to bed; he...

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: Poetry Reading

My girlfriend wanted to go to a poetry reading the other night. I said, 'How about if we just break up?'

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: Good to Be Stupid

How many people here are stupid? It's good to be stupid. It takes a lot of pressure off you. You do something wrong -- 'What are you, stupid?' 'Yeah.'

Posted: 02/24/1992

John Mendoza: Using Dumbbells

I saw a thing in the store the other day, 'Buy a set of dumbbells, get a video tape on how to use it.' I'm thinking to myself, 'You don't know how...

Posted: 02/24/1992

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