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John's wife has him on call 24/7.
Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.
Condoms and Tums
Standup keeps John from picking up shovels.
The "we gotta go" girl
Guy who bought a bus on eBay: you're John's new hero!
Women are not like video games.
John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob.
Never just hit on one girl.
CCP: John Heffron
John advises all men to lie during marriage counseling.
Ladies, if you want the dishes done, call your guy a dick.
John wants his wife to just tell him what he's supposed to do.
John wants to outlaw girl glitter.
John's wife likes to argue with him in public.
Clutterblindness affects 110% of all men.
The further away John gets from the recall button, the bigger the trouble he's in.
Girls don't leave their own behind.