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John's wife likes to argue with him in public.
Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.
Condoms and Tums
Standup keeps John from picking up shovels.
The "we gotta go" girl
Guy who bought a bus on eBay: you're John's new hero!
Women are not like video games.
John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob.
Never just hit on one girl.
CCP: John Heffron
Robert's fiance hates that he sleeps fully naked with socks on.
Kevin and his new wife argue all the time.
John advises all men to lie during marriage counseling.
Ladies, if you want the dishes done, call your guy a dick.
John wants to outlaw girl glitter.
Lately, Jonathan thinks that his wife is having an affair.
John wants his wife to just tell him what he's supposed to do.
Why do men like to have sex first thing in the morning?
Narcolepsy is a comic's biggest fear.