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John's little brother always got him in trouble.
Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.
Condoms and Tums
Standup keeps John from picking up shovels.
The "we gotta go" girl
Guy who bought a bus on eBay: you're John's new hero!
Women are not like video games.
John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob.
Never just hit on one girl.
CCP: John Heffron
John's younger brother had a trick to get John in trouble.
John's mom cut his hair with the dingleberry scissors.
Tums replace condoms as you get older.
Kevin Meaney grew up in a house with five kids and one bathroom.
Mike's brother got him a busboy job.
Fluffy might be cute, but he's not getting a liver transplant.
Ed has fond memories of the first time he got away from his family.
Kids these days get stressed easily.
John wants his wife to just tell him what he's supposed to do.
When Brian was a kid, his aunt always called him by his brother's name.