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John wants his wife to just tell him what he's supposed to do.
Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.
Condoms and Tums
Standup keeps John from picking up shovels.
The "we gotta go" girl
Guy who bought a bus on eBay: you're John's new hero!
Women are not like video games.
John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob.
Never just hit on one girl.
CCP: John Heffron
John's younger brother had a trick to get John in trouble.
John's mom cut his hair with the dingleberry scissors.
Kids these days get stressed easily.
John advises all men to lie during marriage counseling.
Ladies, if you want the dishes done, call your guy a dick.
Growing up, John always had to sit on the middle hump "suck seat."
John's wife has him on call 24/7.
John wants to outlaw girl glitter.