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John wants to outlaw girl glitter.
Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.
Condoms and Tums
Standup keeps John from picking up shovels.
The "we gotta go" girl
Guy who bought a bus on eBay: you're John's new hero!
Women are not like video games.
John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob.
Never just hit on one girl.
CCP: John Heffron
Men can't say "tsk."
Ladies, if you want the dishes done, call your guy a dick.
For guys, even the need for insulin won't interfere with a friend's hook up.
John advises young guys to go after older women.
John's wife likes to argue with him in public.
John advises all men to lie during marriage counseling.
Clutterblindness affects 110% of all men.
The further away John gets from the recall button, the bigger the trouble he's in.