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Penguins are really dumb.
It's 2006, where are our jetpacks?
Beached whales are some of the weirdest things you'll ever see.
"Fear Factor" has run out of things to do to its contestants.
Nobody ever talks about the fact that forever is above you at all times.
When Dan Sally wanted to propose, a bat flew into his living room.
Married men don't get guts from drinking beer; they get guts from swallowing pride.
A couch is just another thing for mice to hide behind.
Marianne Sierk will eat popcorn that has fallen between her legs on a date.
Dan writes greeting cards.
Being a pallbearer's supposed to be an honor, but it's actually just heavy lifting.
Kevin is thinking about doing topless modeling.