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Beached whales are some of the weirdest things you'll ever see.
It's 2006, where are our jetpacks?
Penguins are really dumb.
"Fear Factor" has run out of things to do to its contestants.
Nobody ever talks about the fact that forever is above you at all times.
You forgot what chicken tastes like!
My relatives don't think comedians exist.
The Humane Society called Matt's friend a dick.
Eddie Pence kicks Chihuahua ass.
David Crowe is addicted to gas.
If anyone complains about my driving, I turn off their airbag.
Eddie Pence knows what it would look like if he woke up in prison.