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Would we know what a water chestnut is if it weren't for bacon?
Hot Pockets are for the drunk.
Hide eggs for Jesus!
Pie is like liquid cake.
Jim can't censor himself.
The fattest crackhead
Jim Gaffigan: Exclusive Interview
Bologna is not just a meat, it's an insult.
This is a pain in the ass. Am I the butler?
Do you think Jesus was a good carpenter?
How drunk do you have to be to not remember what a waffle looks like?
Hot Pockets! Hot Pockets! Hot Pockets!
Bowling has to be the germaphobe's nightmare.
Jim isn't allowing excuses for not watching his special.
Jim doesn't understand the people who don't like TV.
It's like sleeping on a grill.
The people calling Jim a self-promoter would look good in a "King Baby" t-shirt.