Jeremy Hotz has appeared on the following Comedy Central shows: | Jeremy Hotz Videos | Jeremy Hotz Jokes |
Filling your Chevette with diesel fuel alongside a bunch of truckers is really embarrassing.
Nothing changes in Los Angeles, not even the seasons.
Canada is not a very tough country.
Doctors don't tell you anything you don't already know.
The men's locker room at the gym is a horrible place.
Jeremy Hotz likes free stuff because he's cheap.
Brown contacts are not very big sellers.
Getting old, I can't stop it. What a miserable life this turned
out to be. Losing the hair on my head, getting some new hair right above my ass at...
My optometrist says it comes from years of doing stand-up
comedy, staring into the lights. Said he could fix it with laser surgery. I said,...
Snails are untrustworthy because they crawl around with their
houses on their backs.
My next door neighbor's the Keebler Elf. Oh, I hate that little
prick. He keeps me up at night making cookies in his tree. That's no way to run a...
I bought a car when I moved to Los Angeles 'cause I've never
seen a bus. Oh, they have the stops, but the bus never comes by. You'd think L.A. was...
Not a very tough country, huh? They got an army; they just
didn't give them guns or anything. Look at the Canadian flag -- it's not a symbol of...
Ever try to get those pictures from him? He won't give them to
you. He's all weird about it, too, isn't he? 'No, those are mine.' Alright, you keep...
Once you hit 30, your life changes -- all the 30-year-olds know
what I'm talking about. You hit 30, you don't run for the bus anymore. You get...
You got to stay out of the men's locker room, don't you? What a
horrible, disgusting place that is, just filled with naked 85-year-old men -- just...