Jeff Stilson: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Jeff Stilson

Jeff Stilson has appeared on the following Comedy Central shows:

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Jeff Stilson Videos Jeff Stilson Jokes

Jeff Stilson - Squirrels

Rats are just a bushy tail away from being a squirrel.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), health (976), food (804)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 926

Jeff Stilson - Child Birth

"Delivery" is the wrong word to describe child birth.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), men/women (1003), health (976)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 857

Jeff Stilson - Marriage

Couples should spend two weeks apart after they get married.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), dating (656), marriage (581)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 616

Jeff Stilson - Parenting

Your father's an alcoholic because you're a loser.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841)

Posted: 05/22/03
Views: 599

Jeff Stilson - Flirting

When flirting, you want to act confident, not maniacal.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), men/women (1003), money (865)

Posted: 05/23/94
Views: 593

Jeff Stilson - Sports Coverage

Marijuana is not a performance enhancing drug.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 05/22/03
Views: 584

Jeff Stilson - Cursing in German

"Go away, you big bad man," doesn't register as much of a curse.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), ethnic (814), animals (791)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 534

Jeff Stilson - Secret to Success

The secret to a successful marriage is low expectations.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 05/22/03
Views: 479

Jeff Stilson - Take off the Uniform

Why do people continue to exercise after marriage?

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), sex (1283), dating (656)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 400

Jeff Stilson - Birth

Jeff could never, ever raise a child that he gave birth to.

Tags: Jeff Stilson (17), Comedy Central Presents (1821), men/women (1003)

Posted: 05/22/03
Views: 399

Jeff Stilson: Second-Hand Prison Smoke

Our Supreme Court has even ruled that forcing one inmate to share a cell with another who smokes is cruel and unusual punishment. In other words,...

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: From Seattle to New York City

I moved here about 13 years ago from Seattle, Washington. I left a city that has a high suicide rate for a city that has a high homicide rate. I...

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: Weird Olympic Events

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon. It's called...

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: Retired Parents

Do you know what retired parents are like? They're like telemarketers that you can't hang up on. They refuse to take you off their call list.

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: Men in the Delivery Room

I was present for all of their births. That's expected of men now. We gotta be there when the kids are born, and I'm still not sure what our role...

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: Giving Birth

I could never, ever raise a child to whom I gave birth because a newborn is about the size of a basketball. And if I had to expel a basketball from...

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: Low Self-Esteem

I don't have any sympathy for people who suffer from low self-esteem. You don't need to love yourself. You just need to hate a lot of other people,...

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: Blaming the Parents

There's a lot of pressure on parents, man, just figured that out. Parents get blamed for everything now. Even when their kids are grown up and out...

Posted: 05/22/2003

Jeff Stilson: Poor Jesus

Poor Jesus. First he's crucified, then he has to spend his Saturdays with Jerry Falwell.

Posted: 02/24/1992

Jeff Stilson: Linguistics

I've always found the study of language intriguing. I had a linguistics professor who always said, 'It's man's ability to use language that makes...

Posted: 02/24/1992