Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes
through satin sheets.
Posted: 10/30/2008
You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or
homeless -- or if you're broke and driving the cab.
Posted: 10/30/2008
That's not a stereotype -- French people reek. French people
don't wash their ass. We wash our ass in this country. That should be our logo: 'The...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I flew to France. That's a long flight from L.A. to France,
like 16 hours. And you just get off the plane and you smell like ass and you feel like...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I don't know if you've ever been to England, but as soon as
they find out you're from America, they hate you. They just think they're more...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not
that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get beat up by a guy with that...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I feel good. I'm much better. Actually, I just lost 10 pounds
on a new diet called the flu. Has anyone tried that one out?
Posted: 10/30/2008
I like getting a massage, but it's hard to relax because the
whole time, you're laying there for an hour with a stranger, naked, with your ass in...
Posted: 10/30/2008
Some ladies got the shower massager. Oh, man, you better buy
her a diamond 'cause if she got a shower massager, she don't really need you anymore....
Posted: 10/30/2008
If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an
alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies -- I've never seen...
Posted: 10/30/2008