I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball.
Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up...
Posted: 05/26/1993
You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or
homeless -- or if you're broke and driving the cab.
Posted: 11/20/2003
I feel good. I'm much better. Actually, I just lost 10 pounds
on a new diet called the flu. Has anyone tried that one out?
Posted: 11/20/2003
I like getting a massage, but it's hard to relax because the
whole time, you're laying there for an hour with a stranger, naked, with your ass in...
Posted: 11/20/2003
Some ladies got the shower massager. Oh, man, you better buy
her a diamond 'cause if she got a shower massager, she don't really need you anymore....
Posted: 11/20/2003
Women have it good when it comes to masturbation. Guys, we just
have our hands. For the rest of our lives, that's it. Sometimes your friend will...
Posted: 11/20/2003
Guys talk about masturbating a lot more than women do. Women do
it, but guys talk about it all the time. There's nothing to it. Be with your...
Posted: 11/20/2003
I flew to France. That's a long flight from L.A. to France,
like 16 hours. And you just get off the plane and you smell like ass and you feel like...
Posted: 11/20/2003
That's not a stereotype -- French people reek. French people
don't wash their ass. We wash our ass in this country. That should be our logo: 'The...
Posted: 11/20/2003
I don't know if you've ever been to England, but as soon as
they find out you're from America, they hate you. They just think they're more...
Posted: 11/20/2003