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View Jared Logan's Profile »
Afternoon advertising is true evil.
People think I'm gay.
I found the golden ticket in my onion rings!
I gained the freshman 58!
I know nothing about sports.
Someone had to audition to be the "living under your toenail" guy.
Cristela Alonzo likes watching the late night phone sex commercials on television.
The news is just a delivery system for commercials.
Fellas, stop checking out our butts.
They're about to fight and I'm like Jagger at Altamont!
I probably should have dropped out of comedy that night at Rascals.