Here's the breakdown: Start with a subtle and intelligent comedy style, add four cups of convoluted stories, lightly stir with bizarre observations and add a pinch of dementia for Johannsen Strudel.
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There is no Victor's Secret for men.
Men are quite simple.
Jake Johannsen has a solution for illegal immigration.
Once Jake gets off the plane, he's like a puppy waiting at the animal shelter.
It's fun to have a band on your show because of all the metal chicks backstage.
By the time they air this show, it could be Christmas time.
Jake wants a real invisible plane.
Aliens are smarter than us and they know it.
Jake sampled Hong Kong's gravy-filled donut.
It's much better to be the cult leader than the cult follower.
Some cabs, you get in, and they have no kind of protection,
security, at all. I guess they give those to the guys who show up late: 'Maybe a couple...
You gotta be a special kind of hungry to put something in your
mouth that you get from a stranger on the streets of Manhattan, especially in Times...
I'd like to think that if I'm gonna drop dead in the next
couple of weeks, you could tell just by looking at me. Apparently, that's the whole idea...
I never wanted my own cult until I found out about all the
perks. Evidently, if you're the cult leader, you can have sex with any of the cult...
Two good things about drinking on the airplane are -- you don't
have to drive and, no matter how much you drink, they can't throw you out.
I can't understand that they're debating on whether or not to
allow gays in the military. Surprise -- they're already in the military. I mean, why...
A while back, I went down to Washington, D.C., and they put me
up in the Watergate Hotel... It's just like a normal hotel -- nice, you know. I...
She says, 'Don't worry. You will be cleansed physically,
mentally and emotionally by this procedure.' Which I thought was pretty grandiose talk for...
What do you call a bass player that just broke up with his
girlfriend? Homeless.
I've noticed that the street food in New York is very similar
-- you know with the hot dogs and pretzels -- to the food that you get at the...