Here's the breakdown: Start with a subtle and intelligent comedy style, add four cups of convoluted stories, lightly stir with bizarre observations and add a pinch of dementia for Johannsen Strudel.
| Jake Johannsen Videos | Jake Johannsen Jokes |
There is no Victor's Secret for men.
Men are quite simple.
Jake Johannsen has a solution for illegal immigration.
Once Jake gets off the plane, he's like a puppy waiting at the animal shelter.
It's fun to have a band on your show because of all the metal chicks backstage.
By the time they air this show, it could be Christmas time.
Jake wants a real invisible plane.
Aliens are smarter than us and they know it.
Jake sampled Hong Kong's gravy-filled donut.
It's much better to be the cult leader than the cult follower.
They know they're smarter than us, too, because we've been
beaming 'COPS' into outer space.
People always tell you: 'Don't give the homeless money because
they're just going to spend it on booze or drugs.' I kind of feel like, 'Hey, the...
The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food
here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have -- like, for...
You want to scream at people in the street: 'Stop f**king! You
have to stop f**king!'... I don't think they can stop because it's so crowded. As...
If love was easy, there would be almost no music.
You look in my underwear drawer, and it's just, like -- that is
to protect my pants from my ass.
You're supposed to put it on the dog's stitches or his butt.
The vet says the dog will not lick the salve because the salve tastes bad to the dog....
She's like, 'How could a man want to have sex with a plastic
doll? How could a man want to put his penis in a plastic doll?' And I said, 'Well,...
Some cabs, you get in, and they have no kind of protection,
security, at all. I guess they give those to the guys who show up late: 'Maybe a couple...
You gotta be a special kind of hungry to put something in your
mouth that you get from a stranger on the streets of Manhattan, especially in Times...