Harland Williams: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Harland Williams

Actor and Comedian, Harland Williams, makes his home in Hollywood, California. It's easy to see why this versatile performer is quite literally a Hollywood chameleon.

Who can forget his memorable role as the pee-drinking cop in "Dumb and Dumber"? The loveable horse killing stoner, Kenny, in "Half Baked". The hitchhiking serial killer in "There's Something About Mary". The silent motorcycle stud, Slater, in "Superstar", The goofball astronaut, or Roberta, the ugliest red head in the world in "Sorority Boys".

Williams other film credits include, "The Whole Nine Yards", Disney's "Mister Headmistress", Tom Green's "Freddy Got Fingered", 'E' televisions, "Becoming Dick", and the soon to be released "Because of Winn Dixie and Robots".

Williams is also seen regularly on Late Night with David Letterman, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, as well as Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

Williams has also done solo STAND UP COMEDY SPECIALS for HBO, Comedy Central, CTV, and CBC. Other television credits include his own sitcom "Simon", for the WB, as well as a co-starring role on The Geena Davis Show".

Williams has also supplied voices for the animated series "Gary and Mike" on Comedy Central. "Ned's Newt", a Saturday morning kid's cartoon, and several other guest voices on various other animated shows.

Williams is also an accomplished author and illustrator of his own series of children's books, involving a little brontosaurus... [MORE]
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Harland Williams- Flamingo

Nature's rough!

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Posted: 06/24/05
Views: 16,616

Harland Williams - Cosmetic Surgery

We do stupid things.

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Posted: 06/24/05
Views: 12,468

Harland Williams - Invisible Jet

No vehicle, no service.

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Posted: 06/24/05
Views: 6,833

Harland Williams - Technology

It's driving us nuts.

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Posted: 06/24/05
Views: 5,123

Harland Williams - Jack Nicholson in Spanish

Harland Williams does an impression of a Spanish Jack Nicholson.

Tags: Harland Williams (35), Premium Blend (750), gay/homosexual (622)

Posted: 01/07/01
Views: 4,618

Harland Williams - Church

Those priests sure do love to talk.

Tags: Harland Williams (35), religion (770), music (710)

Posted: 02/21/00
Views: 2,840

Harland Williams - Drive-Thru

What would happen if Wonder Woman ordered at a drive-thru?

Tags: Harland Williams (35), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)

Posted: 06/23/05
Views: 2,658

Harland Williams - Getting Attacked by Animals

It's so humiliating to be attacked by a skunk.

Tags: Harland Williams (35), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)

Posted: 06/23/05
Views: 2,384

Harland Williams - Ink Cartridges

Buying ink cartridges is more expensive than buying a printer.

Tags: Harland Williams (35), Comedy Central Presents (1821), money (852)

Posted: 06/23/05
Views: 2,253

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Harland Williams: Can't Sleep

Last night I could not get to sleep; I'm just flipping around in my bed, can't get to sleep. So here's what I do: I wake up at three in the...

Posted: 12/31/2000

Harland Williams: Everything Is "Star Wars"

Everything's 'Star Wars' nowadays, isn't it, man? You go out to dinner with a friend. Between their beeping watch, their pager, their cell phone,...

Posted: 01/14/2001

Harland Williams: The Snowy Owl

My favorite owl is the snowy owl. This is my impression of the snowy owl: 'Hoo! Hoo, hoo! Hoo! Hoo -- f**k, it's cold.'

Posted: 12/03/2000

Harland Williams: Getting Rid of Spiders

Here's what you do to get rid of spiders: go out, catch some flies, dip them into Tabasco sauce and flick them into the web.

Posted: 01/07/2001

Harland Williams: Flies on the Totem Pole

You gotta feel bad for flies, though, huh? Lowly little thing on the totem pole. What happened when they were giving that out? Like lion: Lion, you...

Posted: 01/07/2001

Harland Williams: Laser Eye Surgery

How many people here are like me? They can't afford laser eye surgery, so you've got to stay up all night and wait for old 'Star Trek' reruns to...

Posted: 12/24/2000

Harland Williams: Cosmetic Surgery

I finally did it. I went out and got some cosmetic surgery done. I had my chin removed and my ears enlarged. It sucks having no chin, man. In the...

Posted: 01/18/2001

Harland Williams: Facial Procedure

My sister had this procedure where she goes in, she gets some of the fat sucked out of her bottom and injected into her cheeks to give her that...

Posted: 12/10/2000

Harland Williams: Parents Having Sex

I couldn't get to sleep last night. Have you ever heard your parents having sex? That is the worst sound in the world. You know, I'm laying bed,...

Posted: 12/17/2000

Harland Williams: We're All the Same

Black or white, Chinese or Indonesian, Indian or Eskimo, we're all the same: everybody farts and goes pooh.

Posted: 02/01/2001

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