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What? You want a cookie or something?
You can use a 47-year-old woman for a lot of stuff.
Sir, this isn't a hand. This is a nub.
Kicking pigeons puts me in my zone.
If you live to be 90, you get a very special birthday present.
Rich recounts a horrible tour to Miami.
They're about to fight and I'm like Jagger at Altamont!
Don't call Daniel for an audition, he'll call you.
I probably should have dropped out of comedy that night at Rascals.
Fellas, stop checking out our butts.
There's no such thing as a bad stand-up experience.
A homeless guy ran up an $800 bar tab in my hotel room!
I was found in a barbershop in the 'hood.