I'm taking a course here in New York in Italian martial arts.
It's a lot like karate, lots of kicks and stuff, except there are two guys holding...
Posted: 01/03/2000
Sometimes I wear two wallets so it looks like I have an ass.
Posted: 01/03/2000
You know who's a good role model? John Glenn: 77 years old,
flew around in a space shuttle. That's impressive. He didn't actually fly the space...
Posted: 01/03/2000
Joggers tell you that when they run, they get a runner's high.
I'm not sure what they mean by that, but if they mean puking all over myself and...
Posted: 12/08/2004
A buddy of mine ran the New York City marathon last month -- 26
miles through New York. I don't have the stamina to watch in on television.
Posted: 12/08/2004
To hell with Santa! If he's such a big shot, how come he has to
work at Macy's?
Posted: 05/17/1993
Did you ever say something and wish you could take it back?
Something like, 'Yeah, I'm a Jew. What are you skinheads going to do about it?'
Posted: 05/17/1993
George W. says he reads the Bible every day. He's 56 years old
-- finish the book.
Posted: 07/31/2003
You realize in this country it costs 70 cents a minute to
sponsor a starving person, and it costs $2.99 a minute to talk dirty to somebody? One...
Posted: 07/31/2003
They were interviewing some guy from North Dakota. He goes, 'It
can happen here.' No, it can't. You have to build a civilization first.
Posted: 07/31/2003