Years after he was castrated in a horrible industrial accident,
she continued having kids, just out of habit -- black kids, white kids, Chinese...
Posted: 11/28/1997
When you're 18, you meet somebody, and 15 seconds later, you're
like, 'I love you... I love you! Is that your roommate? She's hot.'
Posted: 11/28/1997
Last time I was out here was not too long after 9/11, and you
could not drive a car to the airport at that time. That was one of the first safety...
Posted: 03/16/2006
Same thing every year: up at the crack of dawn, drinking,
fighting, throwing up, pissing on walls -- and then you leave the house.
Posted: 03/16/2006
If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get
married.
Posted: 03/16/2006
They just tested the tap water in Los Angeles, and they found
traces of estrogen and antidepressants in the tap water. So, it's nice to know that...
Posted: 03/16/2006
We're at a wishing well one day. I'm with my son and I give him
a penny, and I said, 'Owen, you take this penny, you throw it in the water, and you...
Posted: 03/16/2006
I do have hair; the hair is just not everywhere. I realize it's
really just at the holes: my nose, my ears, my butt. I'm like a tub: just sheer...
Posted: 03/16/2006
She goes, 'No, this is really good for his immune system.' I
said 'Two years? I think at this time, we can safely dunk him in a bucket of polio.'
Posted: 03/16/2006
I just did some real gambling. I went to Las Vegas. I was
playing craps because I had a lot of money and I needed to lose it very quickly.
Posted: 03/16/2006