Friends of mine freak out when I tell them I'm a good cook...
Why would you be that surprised that I can cook? I'm a big boy. I can cook. It kind...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I go running when I have to -- like when the ice cream truck is
going 60, or I need a lift to the bakery.
Posted: 10/30/2008
I quit smoking cigarettes about a year ago. I gained 18 pounds.
So, now I have to wear a lot of black so no one knows what a big hunk of pig I...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I've been on a diet. I'm on that Slim-Fast thing now. I had
seven of them today, so I feel really good.
Posted: 11/02/2008
She actually asked me for four grapes once. She counted grapes.
What kind of mental patient counts grapes? Do you know anyone who does that? That's...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I love those restaurants because they cater to fat people. They
know fat people are showing up. You walk in; they're like, 'Hey, we took chicken...
Posted: 10/30/2008
Only in this country are obese people considered disabled,
which is a crock of crap. If you're missing an arm or a leg, you're disabled. If you're...
Posted: 10/30/2008
It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the
rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.
Posted: 10/30/2008
Little things start to change in your life -- like your socks
start to get tight.
Posted: 10/30/2008
Oh my God -- he's a thousand pounds! What happened?' He ate.
Posted: 10/30/2008