Gary Valentine: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Gary Valentine

Gary Valentine got his start in the world of standup comedy. A 13-year veteran of standup, Valentine traveled the country refining his comedic routine, performing at comedy festivals. After headlining the Montreal Comedy Festival he moved to Los Angeles, appearing on THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG KILBORN and "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno."

Valentine's additional television credits include starring in his own half-hour comedy special, "Comedy Central Presents," and co-hosting FX's "The X Show." Valentine guest starred on THE KING OF QUEENS for several years, and will be a series regular this season. A native of New York, Valentine now lives in Los Angeles. His birth date is November 22.
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Gary Valentine - Dates

Blind dates are brutal.

Tags:

Posted: 10/01/01
Views: 4,416

Gary Valentine - Spiders

What does a spider do all day?

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (791)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 3,716

Gary Valentine - Southern Accents

Gary Valentine can't understand what people with thick southern accents are saying.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), imitations (772)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 2,410

Gary Valentine - Atlanta Sweet Tea

Waitresses in Atlanta need to relax with the sweet tea.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (841)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 1,952

Gary Valentine - Asthma Camp

Playing hide-and-seek was tough when everyone could hear you wheezing.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 1,812

Gary Valentine - New York Pizza

New York pizza is great because it's made by little Italian guys.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), food (804), imitations (772)

Posted: 12/06/99
Views: 1,291

Gary Valentine - Nitrous Oxide

If you haven't tried the nitrous oxide, order it -- it's delicious.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (976)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 1,147

Gary Valentine - Riverdance

Gary Valentine used to be in hard labor: riverdancing.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), work/office (398)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 1,052

Gary Valentine - Single Guy

There's nothing more brutal for single people than a blind date.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1283)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 968

Gary Valentine - Shopping

Apparently, you're not allowed to lie face down on those massaging chairs in the mall.

Tags: Gary Valentine (13), Comedy Central Presents (1821), family (667)

Posted: 09/30/01
Views: 668

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Gary Valentine: Not Going Anywhere

I took a girl out on a date the other night. I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

Posted: 09/30/2001

Gary Valentine: Wheeling Luggage

Why do they bother putting wheels on luggage? Did you ever try to pull your luggage through the airport? There's no control. I killed, like, three...

Posted: 09/30/2001

Gary Valentine: Southern Accents

I've had dry heaves with more pronunciation than that.

Posted: 09/30/2001

Gary Valentine: Loose Spider

I saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was like, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'

Posted: 09/30/2001

Gary Valentine: New Jeans

I just bought these. These are the button-fly. They're popular now, and they were popular during 'Hee Haw.'

Posted: 12/06/1999

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