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Never carry more than a dollar in cash on you at any given time.
That's stupid!
Everybody turn your hats around and sit up straight. Be cool.
Damon Wayans wonders how cops explain putting a plunger in a dude's behind.
Scott thought he had a shot at catching one of America's Most Wanted.
It's fun pretending you're high when you know you're not.
A few minutes of girls' soccer will have you closing the door.
"So, I was talking to my boyfriend today..." is a good example of a lesbian telling a straight joke.
The diamond lane requires you to have a friend.
At least if you get attacked by a bear, you get a story out of it.
Terrorism is relative.
Everybody knows that, in this country, if you look black, you are black.