If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.
Filed under: Demetri Martin (45), sports (618), friends (307)
Views: 48,573
Posted: 01/13/2007
Demetri Martin - Cat People
Rain is God's way of washing off hippies.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), dogs (151),
Posted: 01/04/07
Views: 169,744
Demetri Martin - Jets?
Demetri Martin is unconvinced by the prestige of Employee of the Month.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sports (618)
Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 88,831
Demetri Martin - Material Enhancers
Demetri Martin adds another set of wings to a hawk.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Comedy Central Presents (1821), food (790)
Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 83,707
Demetri Martin - Sort Of
Dude, these are isotopes.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Comedy Central Presents (1821),
Posted: 03/19/04
Views: 68,228
Demetri Martin - Enhancers
He owns leather sleeves.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Comedy Central Presents (1821),
Posted: 03/19/04
Views: 59,808
Demetri Martin - Art
You shouldn't scratch a CD or a boob.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), animals (783), religion (770)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 8,622
Demetri Martin - Tiny Garbage Can
If Demetri left out tiny garbage cans, he would also leave a tiny sweater.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), health (956), imitations (770)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 13,848
Demetri Martin - Doors
Every door isn't heavy.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), animals (783), New York City (593)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 45,489
Demetri Martin - Porcupines
Porcupines are also skewers.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), animals (783), music (710)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 9,470
Demetri Martin - Mytho-Zoology
Mytho-Zoology is a crappy band from San Diego.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), animals (783), work/office (388)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 7,578
Demetri Martin - Stuff on Guitar
Cakes are the only food we write on.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), men/women (987), kids (828)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 11,098
Demetri Martin - Fifth Person
Demetri Martin writes the first book in the fifth person perspective.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Premium Blend (750), books (727)
Posted: 12/31/00
Views: 43,336
Demetri Martin - Findings
Twenty seven percent of Hummer owners are pricks.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), men/women (987), kids (828)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 40,308
Demetri Martin - Stuttering
There's a reason there are no B batteries.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), Comedy Central Presents (1821), music (710)
Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 31,500
Demetri Martin - Stuff on Piano
If you can't tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you're fat.
Tags: Demetri Martin (45), health (956), food (790)
Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 15,971
