David Feldman: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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David Feldman

For years a favorite among critics, other stand-ups, and those in the know, Feldman is finally breaking through with frequent appearances on "The Tonight Show" and "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." He will soon appear in his own half-hour special on Comedy Central to air later this year.

Feldman also appears frequently on Showtime, VH1, and until he got way too old MTV.

Feldman's acting credits include most recently an appearance on HBO's critically acclaimed series "Curb Your Enthusiasm" starring "Seinfeld" co-creator Larry David.

As a comedy writer, Feldman has amassed a variety of credits. He was a writer for the popular ABC sitcom "Roseanne," as well as HBO's much-lauded "Dennis Miller Live!" and "Not Necessarily the News." He currently writes for HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher." Feldman has written for countless awards shows including the 2002 and 2003 Emmys.

Feldman has also won three prime time Emmy awards for comedy writing, as well as three prestigious Writer's Guild Awards and a Cable Ace Award. But David says the award he looks forward to most is the three million dollar settlement he gets from a jury after successfully bringing Roseanne to court for firing him with two small children to support.
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David Feldman - Treat our Teachers Better

We have to treat our teachers better.

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), kids (828)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 785

David Feldman - Sex Education

Sex education begins at home.

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 659

David Feldman - Giving Back

David Feldman does the Lord's work.

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), health (956)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 581

David Feldman - Homelessness

People spend more on their pets than they do on the homeless.

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), animals (783)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 493

David Feldman - Sexism

If women ran the world, there'd be no wars.

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 397

David Feldman - Sexual Harassment

What constitutes sexual harassment?

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), sex (1269)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 376

David Feldman - Drug Wars

TV is the biggest opiate in this country.

Tags: David Feldman (14), health (956), kids (828)

Posted: 05/23/93
Views: 360

David Feldman - Golden Years

David Feldman welcomes his golden years.

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), death (315)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 334

David Feldman - Cannibalism

Burying dead people is a waste.

Tags: David Feldman (14), men/women (987), animals (783)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 281

David Feldman - Legalize Narcotics

David Feldman wants to legalize all narcotics.

Tags: David Feldman (14), Comedy Central Presents (1821), drugs (630)

Posted: 06/19/03
Views: 256

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David Feldman: Vacationing in Amsterdam

I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal. Let me rephrase that -- I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because...

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Expensive New York City

I forgot how expensive this town is. Checking into the hotel this morning, I literally had to give the bellhop $10 just for taking my tip.

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Empowered Daughter

I empower my eldest daughter. I tell her to be proud of where she came from. That's why I named her Uterus, Uterus Feldman. She's named after her...

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Clinton-Lewinsky Scandal

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Respect My Daughter

You treat my daughter with respect -- you buy her breakfast if she puts out.

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Why God Is a Woman

Thou shalt not commit adultery.' Now, you know no guy would have ever dreamed that one up.

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Grandmother in Medical School

My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Between Me and My Maker

Usually this is between me and my maker, but I'll share it with you -- 28% of what I'm earning tonight, I am giving to the United States government.

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Pharmaceutical Manufacture

Let crack and heroin be manufactured by the pharmaceutical companies, that way nobody can afford them.

Posted: 06/19/2003

David Feldman: Six Hours of Television

The average teenager watches six hours of television every day. At least with drugs, you're out -- you're singing, you're dancing. You're meeting...

Posted: 06/19/2003

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