He was never really a diplomat, that Bush. When he was vice
president and Reagan would be talking, it was so funny 'cause you could catch Bush...
Posted: 05/29/1998
They haven't written ghost stories from Brooklyn. I think I can
understand. Ghosts are sort of getting together and saying, 'This is just not worth...
Posted: 12/03/2000
People in Brooklyn wear their hearts on their sleeves. 'Excuse
me, sir, I'm lost.' 'Glad I'm not you!'
Posted: 12/03/2000
Something always happens to let you know you're back in New
York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: 'Could you take my order before...
Posted: 12/03/2000
I'm originally from a place that sort of has a galaxy-wide
reputation for sucking, called Alabama. And not from one of the good parts -- I'm from...
Posted: 12/03/2000
You don't get divorced 'cause the thrill is gone; it's 'cause
you don't know how to stack the tapes right underneath the VCR.
Posted: 12/03/2000
My wife read every book there was on marriage... Apparently,
I'm in every book. I don't know how that could happen, but if you go to any book store...
Posted: 12/03/2000
Here's my marriage quiz: your wife comes in and says, 'Hey, do
I look fat?' Do you say a) 'Yeah, you could lose a few,' b) 'No honey, you've never...
Posted: 12/03/2000
Clinton's whacked man. This guy's dangerous. He's the kind of
guy that could say to a woman and get away with it, 'You know, if you'd only take...
Posted: 12/03/2000
I got to go to the Oval Office three times and hang out
there... And it's weird. You're in the Oval Office, you think you're gonna be patriotic,...
Posted: 12/03/2000