I got a $290 parking ticket today. Do you folks hear me? A $290
ticket, man. My car only cost $240.
Posted: 11/15/2001
Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in
Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.
Posted: 11/15/2001
To supplement my income, I sell furniture on the side. I'm down
to my couch now.
Posted: 11/15/2001
His big thing now is we've got to get these evildoers... sounds
like we're living in a giant episode of 'Scooby Doo.'
Posted: 05/15/2003
She's old and all beat up; she's only got one breast. So, I got
her a part-time job at Hooters.
Posted: 05/15/2003
You couldn't be a racist and live in L.A. You'd be exhausted.
Posted: 05/15/2003
I trick them during the day. I hide in a dark closet and make
all my calls.
Posted: 05/15/2003
I saw a guy today who had rings and hooks and pens and antennas
hanging out his cheeks and his eyebrows. Looked like somebody hit him in the head...
Posted: 05/15/2003
Your cell phone number [should] be the same as your license
plate number, so if you drive like a jackass, we can call you up.
Posted: 05/15/2003