Billiam got stuck with a pack of losers.
You can spackle windows with tofu.
Chihuahuas are a waste of dog food.
SPF 45 is for vampires.
This suntan lotion is confusing me. When I left about 10 years ago to move to New York, the highest suntan lotion number was 15. I get back -- you...
I took my uncle to his first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. You ever been to an AA meeting? I went, but we ended up at an AAA meeting by mistake....
I am overweight. My whole family is overweight. We go to the beach, and people swim out to us.
I think you know when you have to go on a diet: when you go bungee jumping, and you pull the bridge down with you.
I don't eat food that a dog won't touch. That's my guideline. Try to give tofu to a dog. He goes, 'I don't think so. No.' It's a dog. It licks...